


CoLu Week 2019

by MadSoullessQueen



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: CoLu, CoLu Week 2019, CobraxLucy, F/M, Family, Romance, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-16
Updated: 2019-06-30
Packaged: 2020-05-12 23:35:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19239373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadSoullessQueen/pseuds/MadSoullessQueen
Summary: It's the most anticipated ship week of the year! People count down the days until we can spend 8 dedicated days celebrating everything that is magical about life, family, love and breaking the 4th wall. Come join us for CoLu Week 2019!





	1. Chapter 1

Cobra sat in the basement, looking through his scrap album of his life with Sunshine and their only child Hemlock. So many memories from the long years, together and all the crazy that only a love and insanity like this can bring. He traced his finger over Lock and Ava's wedding picture, trying to stifle the moisture in his eye. It was not a tear, he wasn't that much of a sappy kind of guy...

Fuck it.

He really was, his life with Sunshine was everything that was amazing, psychotic and wonderful on his little wonky world. Cobra flipped the page, staring at the next picture for a minute before looking up.

"Hola reader! Guess what?" he asks and patiently waits for the beautiful person reading this to either answer or blink in confusion. Cobra lets out a sigh and rakes his hand through his hair, "CoLu Week 2019! Dragon'sHost has sounded the alarm and let's get this out on the calendar, so EVERYONE can have some fun."

Cobra slams back his Bleachito and grins wildly. This is his favorite week, there's much to do and stories to tell. "Details, let's go," he stands up, closes the album so you can't see the next coming events, cause spoilers and stretches. He walks over to the white board and begins to scribble, because his handwriting is for shit. Thanks to the power of magical translation, the scribbled mess rearranges to a nice neat little list.

**June 16 - 22, 23 bonus day**

**Day 1: Thread**

**Day 2: Legal**

**Day 3: Foamy**

**Day 4: Sweater**

**Day 5: Windy**

**Day 6: Grain**

**Day 7: Resonant**

**Bonus Day: Download**

The poison slayer waits a second before clearing his throat, "now, like 2018 we are going to play this around _Principal's Office,_ cause that shit is funny. So you'll have me, Sunshine and our mini-beast, Hemlock." 

 

* * *

_Dragon has given the heads up! Time again for my second favorite ship week of the year and I can't wait for all the crazy that will come out of it._

_Kudos and comments appreciated!_


	2. Thread – 12 years before Principal's Office

Lucy was out on extended mission, which meant Cobra was happily (loosely defined) playing single dad to the mini-beast. Now don't get the wrong idea, he's a fantastic dad, like best dad in the history of dad's but even he had a limit. As Lock grew up, he was developing the personality of hell beast, asshole, too adorable for words and just how fucking intelligent is this kid, all rolled into one amazing little guy.

If you would have asked him five years ago if he'd be living this life, oh you'd easily get the "idiotsayswhat?"

Currently Cobra was in the kitchen making some epic cyanide and nutmeg pancakes, waiting for Lock to ask him for help. Cause there is no way the kid was going to dress himself. Nope. Then again, as he flipped the pancake over, Cobra started to wonder if maybe his mini-beast was growing up too fast.

* * *

He watched the golden-brown pancake fluff up a bit more and slides it out of the pan and onto a plate before looking over his shoulder.

"Hey reader, 2019 CoLu Week and you get to start off with the wild fantasy of seeing my sexy ass all domesticated." He winks (or blinks, again, let's revisit this vernacular question when it comes to someone with one eye) at you. It takes a couple seconds and an awesome jump cut with a few bits of magical sparkles, so the scene changes.

He's now in a full butler get up, hair still wild, mischievous grin on his stupidly handsome face and wearing a custom black suit tailored to his wicked body. Every last detail, the perfect epitome of a Japanese manga demon butler, down to white gloves, as he holds out a pristine white bone china plate toped with the best-looking pancakes you have ever seen. There's even sparkles and roses around him, showing off how pretty he is in this get up.

"Heh, to quote some douche who thought he got my Sunshine to himself, I am simply one kick-ass butler." He listens for your chuckle, then blows you a kiss, and suddenly everything goes back to normal. Just him, in a tight t-shirt, jeans that hug his ass, in a gorgeous kitchen making breakfast for his kid.

"Alright, this one ain't going to be long, but welcome to day one Thread, where I get mini-beast all to myself." Cobra blows you a kiss and the story moves on.

* * *

It felt like literally yesterday that he was welcoming Lock into this world and now the kid has his own opinions, walks, runs, kicks, spits, and eats poison. It still boggled his mind, but it took away one panic bit of being a parent, he didn't have to lock up the household cleaners or poisons and sure as fuck didn't worry when the kid got into his treat canisters or was near him when he farted. Though the great fart a few weeks ago, knocked out Sunshine, but that was her fault, replace the meat with beans on enchilada night, what the hell was she thinking?

Cobra and Lock had fangs for a reason. Though how the hell that woman had a jaw that could practically unhinge was beyond him, not that he was complaining. She was also cool with snakes, but spiders… oh hell no, no one in this family dealt with the eight-legged freaks of nature. Well, except for when spiders ate bugs.

Oh yeah, both him and Sunshine had cleaning issues, he just didn't like bugs. Pesticides were okay but burned too much, they just didn't have the smoothness of other poisons. Though let Mira blend that into one of her "health shakes" to bring out the wilted taste in kale, and it was game on.

He set the plate on the table and looked at the copper and black clock on the wall, wondering just how long it takes to get dressed. It never took him long, his whole closet was t-shirts and jeans apart from like one suit, cause on occasion he still romanced his wife.

Cobra wasn't whipped, he was just in love with his life. No more looking over his shoulder, no more lonely nights, no more worried for Jewels and he had that fucked up thing called unconditional love. Sure, he wasn't perfect but fuck if his family didn't make him feel like he was. Most people just wouldn't understand how awesome it is to look around a warm little house and know that it is yours. That you are free, and you have a family that loves and supports you.

He realized the pancakes were getting too cool and microwaving them was not an option. Ever. Cobra ran a hand through his hair and walked up the stairs to go find his kid.

Cobra got up the stairs passing by a pile of photos and turned into the first room on the right. He froze in shock for a moment and tried to not laugh. He really tried. Like epic level of trying here folks, but holy fuck.

Lock was smiling and twirling around in front of the mirror as he marveled over his clothing. The kid still needed his hair brushed but they could handle that after breakfast. Instead of the usual t-shirt, hoodie, and jeans, the kid was wearing, his one pair of khaki dress pants, one of Cobra's "Fuck the system" t-shirts and a pair of Sunshine's high heeled sandals. He was a total wreck, a mix match of everything that was right in the family.

Lock looked over, "daddy! I'm pretty like you and mommy!"

Cobra grinned, digging deep into himself to not chuckle, but at the same time he was ready to tear up. Their kid was everything that was pure mother fucking 100% unadulterated awesome in this world. He knelt and opened his arms. "You got some badass threads there mini-beast."

Lock pouted, "mommy says that is a bad word."

He blinked or winked or…

* * *

The scene pauses and Cobra looks up, "you know what?"

"Ya tired of the bloody vernacular thing?" a voice calls back and he grins.

"Fuckin' right I am, thanks Merlin, also keep that glitter over Munchkin's head. He already got his ship week." He shrugs.

"Obviously, now go on, get wit the story, and use wink," Merlin's voice answers without moving away from the scene of Lock in his little clothes. This is because the author is too lazy to describe this hilarious scene of Mard, tied up, with Merlin sipping a glass of wine, while she floats a 50-gallon bucket of glitter over his head. Cause in author babe's head, Mard had to get restrained so the real fucking star of the show got his week.  _Fuck you very much, Munchkin._

"Yep, we settled it. It'll be whatever the fuck I want. Wink, blink, whatever, you peeps know what we are getting at. I am ending this running gag, it's old." He chuckles and flashes another one of his oh-you-know-the-burn-unit-should-be-getting-a-call-soon, kind of grins. "Like not as old as author…."

There is a growl, it's dark and frightening worse than any other growl you may have ever heard. We are going for horror movie level growl. There's nothing like words in that sound but Cobra looks oddly a bit pale and there is a chance that Mard's bindings might have loosened up. This could be bad, his whole fucking ship week taken over by that demon. Hell, to the fucking no.

Cobra smiles, blows a kiss, "love you." The scene moves on.

* * *

"Right, well let's not tell mommy I said it, pancakes are getting cold."

Lock tried to run and in slow motion started falling face first as he tripped over Sunshine's shoes. Cobra rolled forward and grabbed his kid, holding him close he let the little guy land on top of him, instead of on the carpet. Last thing he needed was for the kid to get rug burn on his chin. Sunshine would kick his ass.

Being the opportunist, Cobra started tickling his son, and the kid let out a mad peal of laughter as he squirmed and kicked off the shoes. One of them managed to hit him square in the junk, because for whatever reason when you are a dad playing with your kids, they always manage to attack your dick. It's the weirdest fucking thing, but it's true, ask any dad.

He winced and sat up, taking a moment to hold Lock close and realizing that his kid was really growing up. That this little act of trying to find his own style and be even more independent was just another moment in life. Another moment that reminded Cobra that in a few more years, he was going to be in more parental pain than just a loose sandal to his nuts.

He kissed the top of Lock's head, "hey, how about your own shoes and let's eat."

Lock hugged him, "okay daddy, but you like my threads?" Mini-beast looked so hopeful, Cobra knew what that was like, just wanting someone to be proud of you. It was something he loved Sunshine for, she gave that to him, and he would happily make sure his kid got to feel that. Every. Damn. Time.

Cobra grinned, "hell yeah, you look good. Little classy. Little trashy. Big awesome." Mini-beast smiled, hopped out of his lap, dug through his drawer for a pair of poka dot socks before running out of the room, screaming about happy fun cyanide time.

He came up to his feet in a fluid movement of grace and smiled at the clothes scattered war zone. After he took Lock to school, he'd clean this up before Sunshine got home. This was Cobra's life and it was pretty wicked, if not bat shit insane.

* * *

Happy 2019 CoLu week! I figured since we are starting on Father's Day, it would be fun to do something with Cobra having a dad moment.

Oh, if you don't get the demon butler thing, I did 2 Black Butler/Fairy Tail Crossovers,  _Your Highness_  and  _Feather Fall_. So Cobra just had to make fun of me for that.

_**Comments and Kudos!** _


	3. Legal

**2019, Day 2: Legal**

**Legal disclaimer, I don't own Fairy Tail**

* * *

"To our kids!" Cana shouted as Lucy, Meredy, Mira and Erza all raised their shot glasses. The glasses clinked before everyone tipped them back and slammed them upside down on the table.

Lucy let out a breath, she couldn't believe that this day had come, well tomorrow technically. Hemlock was finally graduating high school and then he was leaving for University. Where the fuck did time go? She looked over at her friends, noticing little things about how they have all changed and no longer looked like the young bright-eyed wild mages they were when she first met them.

Cana and Mira had settled down a bit, Lucy knew that Cana didn't go party like she used to, and Mira wasn't always attached to the bar at the Guild. Erza started wearing normal clothes rather than her armor all the time and learned how to relax. Meredy became the gold standard in patience and virtue, after all she was mated to Natsu and they had a majorly full house. As for Lucy, she noticed things about herself, outside of her complaints about hips widening and some crows' feet around her eyes, she noticed that she was finally happy.

When she mated Cobra and he married her and they had Lock, everything she was missing filled in the spaces. The whole time she wasn't searching for power or to prove herself or something like that, she was looking for a family to call her own. The kind of family she had once, until her mom died and then thought she'd get again when her father apologized, but then life took him away from her too. Like all things, family changes and tomorrow Lock, along with her friends' kids would taking that first step towards their own life.

It was as a depressing as it was happy, but tonight, Lucy would try to focus on happy. On how not all change is bad and celebrate the end of one chapter so another could start. Also, once Lock was out of the house her and Cobra could enjoy more lazy naked Sundays.

_"Just where did the time go?"_  She thought to herself. One minute she's holding this tiny little life who is suckling on her breast, then she blinked, and he was walking. Another blink and he's at his first day of school. A deep sigh later and he's in puberty. Then tomorrow…

"Oh no, Lucy, you okay?" Mira asked as she took Lucy's hand.

Lucy sniffed and wiped a tear from her eye, "seriously where is my baby boy?" The women all sighed and frowned.

"I know how you feel, seems like yesterday Ur was trying to lift one of my swords with all of her might. Now she's going to music school and barely uses her magic." Erza said with a small frown on her face. Lucy knew Erza was hoping her daughter would be like her and maybe one day lead a guild of her own or be a Wizard Saint. It was something all parents wanted, their kids to follow in their footsteps or just be better than they were.

Meredy chuckled, "I only have to do this four more times. Though it's so odd to see just how quickly and differently they grow up." If anyone knew it was Meredy, out of everyone here she had the most kids. Though Lucy understood, Natsu loved children and after their first, the two decided to go for as many as possible. Until Meredy's body couldn't handle the strain of another dragon-slayer pregnancy, something Lucy could relate to, little ones are strong and difficult on the body.

Mira and Cana held hands, "yeah, it felt like twenty minutes ago we brought Sammy home, just this cute little girl in sunglasses who liked to feel everyone's lips for smiles." They adopted Sammy in Minstrel after three long years and a pile of rejection letters in Fiore. Fairy Tail's reputation was so negative that they had problems, on top of being a same-sex couple. Which don't get Lucy started on that bullshit, nothing wrong with two moms or two dads.

"I remember when she told Erik that he seemed like a nice bad man. He wears that like a badge," Lucy added thinking of that moment and how proud her mate looked when little Sammy said that. Out of all the kids, he liked her so much that he gave her the nicest pet name, Samsonite. Well next to Ava, but only because of two things, one she was Hemlock's girlfriend and two he was scared shitless of her mom.

"Oh god, remember when Junior and Lock wanted to see if his farts could actually catch fire?" Meredy added and the whole group bust out into laughter.

That was quite the day, bored pre-teen boys with dragon slayer magic and no impulse control. The guild hall barely survived that little test, the only bad part of that outcome was the fact that it gave Erik and Natsu a few ideas to see if they could perfect the "Farting Dragon Fire Cloud of Doom" unison raid. Lucy easily talked her mate out of it with the simple, "do it and there will be no more blow jobs for a year."

As Lucy opened her eyes from laughing, she saw a fresh round of shots set before her and everyone else. She shook her head, "you know it's going to suck to sit through graduation tomorrow, hung over."

"Baby girl, that won't happen, you've been drinking with us for how long?" Cana asked.

She picked up her shot glass and thought about it for a moment, "way too fucking long. Surprised I haven't gone grey yet."

Erza snickered, "once you go Gray…"

The women all cracked up around the table and decided to toast to Gray and all shades of it for their next shot. The liquor burned down Lucy's throat and she enjoyed the hell out of it. If anything, it was nice to be out with the girls, though she'd still be just happy to be home, curled up, and watching  _Archer_  with Erik.

In fact, she was kind of wondering what he and the guys were up to for the night. Something told her, they were probably doing the same thing as the girls but only with more fist fights and potty humor. Cause, they may look like grown men but each one of them (except Freed) was as immature as their teenagers.

* * *

"How the fuck is Freed still standing?" Cobra asked as he looked around the room. They guys had planned to the start the night with poker and drinks, you know keep it chill.

Then Natsu suggested a good old-fashioned brawl. They kind they used to have when they were younger and filled with too many fucked up ideas and testosterone. Which sounded like fun, then again any excuse to get into a fight was his idea of a good time.

Only Gray upped the ante, brawl for 2 minutes, drink for 3 minutes and repeat the cycle. After the first hour, the training grounds were fucked up and Cana's big barrel of booze was almost drained. Cobra knew he'd pay for that one later, he also knew the booze didn't bother him, it was a poison. So as the guys got slower and dumber, he was feeling fan-fucking-tastic.

Yet out of all the dad's, Freed was still standing, he looked just as posh as ever. The guy had good style and Cobra had developed a better friendship with him after their kids started dating. Though he'd never seen Freed drink before and barely fought with the guy, usually he was too busy overseeing his kids' education and being on the Magic Council.

Freed shrugged, "Merlin and I spent a decade on the Plane of Debauchery, we called it our honeymoon."

Cobra rolled his eye, he forgot about that, thanks to all kinds of fucked up things with time and their mating bond, Freed had lived more years than his appearance let on. "There's a plane for that?"

"Yes, it is quite," he pursed his lips, "charming."

"Charming? Really? You gonna go with that?" Cobra snickered as he stepped over Gray and back into the Guild.

"It is the best I can think of, words are not really friends-s," Freed replied and Cobra noticed the little bit of slurring that just happened.

He clicked his tongue and grinned, "yeah words suck."

Freed started to laugh as Cobra handed him a glass of water. Figured the guy should at least get a little hydration, their fun was over, and these old men were no longer the teenagers they used to be. Time to pack it in.

"Tomorrow they graduate," he added, and Cobra nodded as he dug around under the counter for the good cleaning supplies. Mira kept the best ones for him under the bar for mixing some badass cocktails or smoothies, when Sunshine was around.

He loved his mate, but wow, one little trip to the doctor's office and finding out he had blood pressure problems, um, no. So, she switched up his diet to include a few more veggies and lessened up on the harsher poisons. You know the good tasting ones. Cobra missed bacon, it went form staple to a once a week treat and bacon once a week? This wasn't fucking prison.

He got it, Sunshine was a worrier and she wanted to make sure they had plenty more years together. If the roles were reversed, yeah he'd do the same kind of shit and she'd hate it just as much but would understand it.

"Time sucks, like why it gotta be fast and faster and then you have a kid and it goes Ludicrous speed." He said as he grabbed a couple bottles and fixed himself a poison style of a Long Island Iced Tea.

Freed leaned against the bar and put his chin in his hand as he circled his finger around the rim of the water glass. "To quote my mate, time is bullshit, it's a construct designed to make you feel like rubbish."

Cobra's mouth fell open, "dude, you swore."

Freed laughed, "you live with Merlin, she's got a mouth on her that puts yours to shame. Especially when that friend of her's is around."

"Heh, you should hear Sunshine, she makes me fucking blush somedays. Speaking of which you think the girls are alright?"

"S-sure, it's just Lucy, Mira, Cana, Erza and Meredy with a bunch of drinks," he said, and Cobra high fived the guy. That was serious sarcasm and much appreciated, even better that Freed said it perfectly straight faced.

"So I should probably get bail money," he opined as he opened a drawer and pulled out a pack of smokes. He offered one to Freed and he took one, which meant the Rune mage was drunk-o-fuck.

The two sat around the bar, Cobra behind it with his feet up as he nursed his drink. Freed was half asleep, barely clinging to the conversation, it was a slow descent into drunkenness but holy shit if it wasn't fun just getting a chance to sit back and hang out. After all everyone else already tapped out.

* * *

Freed's forehead hits the counter and Cobra blows out a plume of smoke, "yo, welcome back to day two, Legal. Think it's pretty self-explanatory around here as to what the shit is going on, but hang on to your asses." He takes a drag and winks, letting the scene go back.

* * *

Being a randomly nice guy, he grabs Freed's hand and pushes back the burgundy shirt sleeve. There under the guy's wrist is a small tattoo, one of several more that the guy sported along the sides of his torso. Cobra tapped it, "yo, Merlin, he needs a lift home."

There's a shimmer in the air and Cobra lets go as Freed disappears through the fabric of reality. It's a cool looking moment and Cobra plays with the few bits of magic that float in the air before they vanish. He wished he had something like that with Sunshine, just a way to communicate or summon one to each other. Cause there were some days where he would love to have his Sunshine, like for handling morning wood.

He enjoyed the smoke and pulled out his portable communication lacrima, just to check for messages. Right now, everyone was split into groups, the kids all doing their thing, the chicks at the bar and here, all alone was Cobra.

It's a peaceful moment, nice and quiet. This was not going to end well.

* * *

Lucy punched the douchebag in front of her, right in the throat. He staggered back for a second before he stumbled forward and tried to thrust the broken beer bottle towards her. Out the corner of her eye she saw a chair go flying and ducked in time to miss it, but the other guy, not so lucky.

She pivoted on her foot and swept the legs out from her opponent right as he got to enjoy the feeling of chair to side of face. The whole place was in pure chaos, which was like Tuesday in the Guild, but here people legit were going to kill each other.

Since this wasn't a usual mage bar, the women were trying to not use their magic. That would be a new level of destruction and also, take away half the fun. Lucy rose to standing and saw Mira toss a guy off of Cana, as if he was nothing. "Mira!" she shouted, knowing all to well that one of her demon souls was ready to take over and crush anyone who hurt her lover.

Mira stopped and looked at Lucy, her face changed in the blink of an eye (literally) from the hard edge pissed off bitch to a bright smile. "Hi Lucy!"

Lucy chuckled and noticed that Mira was pointing, she dropped to her knees. Hard linoleum against old knees had her almost howling in pain, but it was better than getting hit with the barstool that went through empty air. She spun on her knees, groaning as sharp bits of glass cut into them before she threw out another punch, hitting this jackass right in the family jewels.

It was slow and she was wobbly, but Lucy got up and grabbed the collar of his shirt, as she pulled her arm back, ready to punch again. A large hand grabbed her wrist and she looked over her shoulder to see a Rune Knight standing there. She didn't recognize this guy and didn't care, though the look on his face had her remembering that she should chill the fuck out. Lucy let go of the drunken moron with a slight shove and smiled at the Knight.

"Evening, officer," she said, somewhat noticing that officer sounded more like  _offisher_.

"Public disturbance, intoxication and assault," he said simply.

Lucy tried to tap into her flirty side, in her mind she was still that sexy little twenty something who could on occasion charm her way out of anything. She smiled and stepped towards him, running her fingers up his chest. "can't you just let us go, we didn't start it. I'm sure a good-looking guy like you has better things to do tonight than handle little me."

Well that's what she tried to say and do but in reality, it was more akin to her looking shocked and trying to touch him but instead he spun her around and put the cuffs on her. Lucy grumbled and actually said, "you fucking reject asshole, dickbag women hater. Bet your tiny dick doesn't get any action."

The guy said nothing as she let out a stream of swearwords and promises to do things to his body that were anatomically impossible. Lucy was shoved into the paddy wagon with her friends. Everyone looked pissed, except for Meredy who was just laughing.

"Wow! This is so exciting, like being kids again," she said before she hiccuped. The inside was not comfortable, the textured metal bench under her ass was cold and textured so that it dug into your sensitive ass. There was also a smell in here that Lucy was certain was not from her friends. In fact, she didn't want that smell's origin story.

"Only you Meredy," Cana chuckled.

Meredy's eyes went wide as she pouted, "what? It's just been so long since I got to get into trouble."

Lucy shook her head, "s-so didn't think the night was going to go this way." The women all burst out into laughter as the wagon started moving.

"We're Fairy Tail!" Erza called out, right before her head lolled back and Lucy could tell by the tensing of her torso she was trying to not vomit.

"Cana, how much did we drink?" Mira asked.

Her wife sighed, "enough to have an awesome story!"

The ride to the station was bumpy and by the end of it, everyone looked a little green and worse for the wear. They were hauled out and placed into the traditional "drunk tank". A female Rune Knight came around and took their names and numbers for someone to contact.

"A-are we being arrested?" Lucy managed to ask as she clenched her stomach. There was a chance that getting arrested could fuck with her magic, it wasn't a guarantee, but it was possible.

The woman laughed, "As if the new Captain would allow Fairy Tail to be arrested for a bar fight you didn't even start."

The five women all looked at each other, each one of them in a various state of shock and wondering what the hell was going on. The last Rune Knights they knew well, Lahar was dead and Mest was a guildmate. Lucy was trying to rack her brain and really wishing she kept up on local politics and shit but in the end she just didn't give a rats furry ass. Though she made a mental note, that she would forget later, to keep up on this a little better.

"Um, who's the Captain?" Meredy asked.

The woman stepped to the side and there on the wall was a picture of Sorano in a Rune Knight outfit. Lucy couldn't read the plaque under it, her vision was a little fuzzy but she knew Sorano anywhere, after all they had quite the history.

"Wait, how did you not know Meredy?" Cana asked.

Meredy shrugged, "we quit talking after I had Junior, she just," the pink haired mage slumped onto the creaky bench and put her hand into her hands. Lucy sat next to her and put her arm around her shoulders, this was the point of the night where the booze and adrenaline was starting to leave their bodies and reality was setting in.

They all understood, sometimes friends just drift away for one reason or another. Lucy was glad she still had her core group of friends after everything that happened or will happen. If she was all alone in this world, she would be in tears every minute of the day. The happy group of drunks, getting into bar fights had now turned into a group of tired, old(ish) women, holding each other crying.

* * *

When you get a call that your wife and her friends are in the drunk tank, you expect to see some crazy shit. The scene Cobra saw when he was led in back to get everyone home, had him frowning. The women were all holding each other and crying.

He looked over his Sunshine, she was looking rough and beat up as fuck, oh he was so going to give her shit for this late night fiasco. The guard spoke up and the women all looked over at him, "pick up service for The Sunshine Gang."

The women laughed and as soon as the door was opened he was mobbed. Cobra pushed Erza to the side as he saw Sunshine struggling to stand up, the dried blood that caked her legs unnerved him. He picked up his wife after reading the look of pain in her face. "Damn, you reek."

"Fuck you too," she replied, and he arched a brow, "I mean, thank you baby for coming to save me."

Cobra grinned at his mate and kissed her forehead, "do I want to know?"

"It should be perfectly legal for me to throat punch a dick for putting his hand up my skirt," she replied as Cobra walked down the hall being followed by a collection of drunk women who were all trying to talk about the bar fight, over each other. He blocked out the noise, trying to concentrate on his wounded little mate.

Sure, you may think he's being a nice guy, but nope, he was saving this story for later, just as a subtle reminder that she's just as bad as he is. Sunshine made a strange gurgle sound as she leaned her head to the side and threw up all down his side. Cobra paused and grimaced, Sunshine was out like a light bulb. "Yeah, you're too old for this shit."

* * *

As they get outside, everything pauses and Cobra looks over, "I know that was gross and I know that I am holding this over her head for the next 20 years." He places a kiss to her forehead, "but damn if I don't love this woman. Before you ask, yeah we make it to the graduation but if you think the adults are pretty screwed up, the kids looked even worse."

Cobra grins, "don't forget to comment and kudo." On cue the song  _Sober_  by Tool begins to play, because it's the perfect bar close or end of a drunk night kind of song.

* * *

**Well...you heard the man, comment and kudos!**


	4. Foamy - 17 years before Principal’s Office

Cobra was lying in bed, the flame ball in the sky had decided to shine its horrible glow all over his one good eye. On top of that Sunshine had started mumbling about cupcakes and bananas and whatever else she was dreaming about. It was difficult to go back to sleep when everything around you decides it wants you wide fucking awake.

So, he stared at the ceiling as a very naked and sexy Sunshine pressed against him, knocking the sheet off her shoulder. He started mentally counting, knowing that in roughly, thirty seconds she’d start drooling. It was adorable and a bit awkward, his mate drooled, talked, kicked and even gave free blow jobs in her sleep. Some days he appreciated it and some days he just wanted to sleep without the usual interruption, even the blow job one. Yeah, that sounds odd but when a man is tired and sore from a mission, he just wants to sleep.

Sleep, soon he wouldn’t be getting that for a while. Sunshine was three months preggo, which meant that soon the little combination of their DNA would be unleashed on the world. God save the morons who got in the way. 

Sunshine started her drooling before she rolled over and death gripped the pillow, while also taking away the sheet. He snickered and rolled over to press his nose into her hair and listen to her dreamy soul music. This time is had a bit of a jazzy beat and was kind of trippy if not overly happy sounding. All good signs that his mate was dreaming about something wonderful, which was most likely CandyLand, in real life.

The gauzy light bounced around on her skin, it was subtle, but he had noticed that she had this sparkle to her. Maybe it was her goodness, or it was that fucking expensive lotion she liked to use. He couldn’t complain, he liked the way she smelt, unless she was covered in Vulcan shit or the time she got into this marsh and smelt like demon puke. Oh man, he made her bathe three times before he would even get in the same room as her. 

This whole thing was crazy and part of him, the erect and ready to play part, wanted to stay in bed and enjoy a naked mate, but they just moved into this new apartment and there was too much to do. Not to mention he just had a hard time with being idle. There was some kind of saying about idle hands, like idle hands jack off the devil or whatever. Since homey don’t play that way, he figured it was time to get out of bed before the devil came.

Cobra rolled out of bed and rummaged through the box labeled “Erik’s Fashion.” Only Blue Balls, Kinana, and Sunshine were allowed to call him Erik, everyone else better use his damn nickname, that name struck terror into the hearts of random assholes.

He pulled out a blue t-shirt that had a warning about biting and a chibi snake on it, along with a pair of athletic shorts. They would be unpacking and cleaning today, no reason to get fancy. Right now, he wanted a morning smoke and then he was going to handle the kitchen duties.

Cobra went into the living room, tiptoeing around all kinds of boxes and went to the breakfast nook where he parked his messenger bag. He flipped open the bright green top and rummaged through it till he found what he was looking for, a small pad of paper, a pen and his smokes. Because he’s such an awesome guy, he left a note for Sunshine saying he was on the roof and be back in ten minutes. He never knew with his mate, she could sleep till noon just as easily as she could get cold, wake up, freak out, and start screaming her head off for him.

That had happened once and was due to quite the nightmare she had. For as much trauma as he’s been through, there’s been some fucked up shit in her past too. Some of which he was a part of and those days, he’d never go back to. It was one thing to give Blue Balls credit for, the guy taught him how to move forward. Cobra was still working on the forgiveness part of it.

He slipped out of the apartment, putting his key in the pocket before he headed to the fire escape. The window looked like it hadn’t been cleaned in twenty years and when he opened it it squeaked and shuddered, forcing him to just ram it up. Cobra got on to the fire escape and immediately started regretting his life decisions as the rusted-out thing started to sway. Next time he was going downstairs to smoke, fuck this thing.

So, he survived the harrowing climb to the top and stepping out on the black tar like paper roof, he saw a bucket with kitty litter and a few fresh butts. That meant at some point he’d be meeting a neighbor; a smoking buddy isn’t a bad thing. He lit his daily allowed smoke and looked around to all the neighboring buildings and rooftops. There wasn’t much to see, some clotheslines with clothing, a guy getting fucked against the window, and a fuck ton of bright glare off of the buildings.

* * *

Cobra exhales a plume of smoke, “yo, sorry reader, would have said hi a while ago but you know, sleeping mate.” He shrugs, “welcome to day 3, foamy. The smut chapter, so grab your extra panties, favorite corner and get ready.” Our gracious host goes back to his cigarette as a murder of crows fly by him and he’s suddenly gone. Like some serious Batman ninja style shit, it’s cool and the story moves on.

* * *

Lucy was dreaming about a massive five story cupcake, with the frosting whirled on top like the greatest slide ever before it dumps you into a pool of chocolate. To make the dream better her one-eyed mate was waiting in that pool of chocolate, cause hell yeah who doesn’t want chocolate covered Erik.

As she was helping herself to licking the chocolate off of his abs, a panicked “oh fuck!” hit her ears. Combining dreamland with the real world, but that tone was enough to set her heartbeat into high gear. She was forced out of her dream and sprang up in the bed. 

Everything was a bit fuzzy, her left eye had a stupid amount of sleep sand in it, thank you allergy season. Her mouth felt dry and she could have sworn she was tasting old carpet. Why carpet? One of life’s great mysteries, even weirder since she had pancakes before bed last night, so shouldn’t be tasting maple syrup and cinnamon? 

“Fuckity fuck fuck!” 

“Erik?” she called out.

“Well fuck me in the goat ass, mother fucker, what the shit!” was the reply and not quite knowing what was going on but knew that her mate was in trouble, she hopped out of bed. 

Lucy ran through the apartment, managing to dodge a box or two and rounded the corner straight for the kitchen. She wasn’t paying attention to the ground, only that Erik was in the midst of a swearing tirade. 

Her foot made contact with the wet and oddly bubbly linoleum in the kitchen. “Woah!” She screamed as she went sliding face first into Erik. Lucy speared into him, knocking Erik off his feet. Don’t ask her how, she hasn’t had coffee yet, but he managed to grab a hold of her and cradle her fall. 

A loud crack followed up with a grunt of pain had Lucy’s already accelerated heart beating faster. She sat up and went to rub her eyes a little when she noticed that her hand was covered in foamy bubbles. Lucy blinked several times and finally looked around.

They were everywhere, the entire kitchen floor replaced with nothing but dish soap bubbles. She could hear the jets inside the dishwasher and slowly crawled off her mate to go flip the little lock bar to stop it. Lucy had never seen so many damn bubbles in one spot, let alone all over her kitchen floor and half way up the cabinets.

Her head whipped to the side and she saw Erik slowly sit up as he rubbed his head. He was soaking wet and also covered in the bubbles that were now slowly oozing out of the dishwasher. Lucy crawled back to him and straddled his lap. She placed her foam-covered hands on the side of his face.

“You okay?” she asked, trying to keep herself calm and worry about him. Internally she was ready to rage and knock his damn head off. 

“I tink tho,” he said, and Lucy tried to hold in her giggle. “Bit muh tohngue, mutherfuckhar,” he spat, and Lucy did the only sensible thing she could. She kissed his forehead and started laughing as her lips pressed against his skin.

“Don laff,” he said and that killed her. Lucy started laughing, screw trying to hold it in, she was at a full-on out guffaw as Erik protested and pouted in her arms. 

Lucy didn’t always torture her poor mate and after all she was the one who slid into him, so she tried to calm down, as quickly as possible. Which meant she only laughed for two minutes. When she was done, she met his eyes and drew him into a lazy kiss.

Her lips molded against his before their tongues slowly glided alongside each other. She could taste a bit of copper in his mouth and tried not to think too hard on it. He let out a soft moan and Lucy pulled back, a small string of pinkish saliva connecting their lips for the briefest of seconds.

She wiped her lips with the back of her hand, “feel better?”

“Quick healing,” he grinned and pulled her tightly against him, her breasts squished up against his bubble-soaked shirt as he drew small circles on her tailbone. Erik quirked a brow, “so if we get freaky, does this foamy shit keep it clean?”

Lucy kissed his cheek, “yeah Disney level of clean.” They laughed at each other for a moment, the moment before the storm.

His hands ran up her back as she pulled at the bottom of his soaked and adorable shirt. Lips pressed hard against each other, Lucy’s whole body felt alive and on fire. It had been a while as she usually was too tired to enjoy much more than moving from the bed, to the couch, and back to bed (with trips to the restroom as necessary).

She missed this, missed him, the way he moved, the dirty things he said and the high she got seeing him out of his mind with her. Erik took very few things in life seriously but whenever they made love, he treated her as if his whole world was dependant on her the next moan or ripping the next orgasm from her. His fangs graced down the column of her throat as she lightly clawed down his chest, his nipples catching on her blunt nails. 

Lucy looked up at the ceiling as he nuzzled against her shoulder and his hand worked between their bodies. She tried to sit up a bit more, the slippery floor giving her a bit of trouble as her knees kept widening forcing her to slam against his erection. He grunted at the impact as she let out a breath, this was going to be a mess.

She looked back at her mate and noticed how he was doing the most unusual butt scoot against the floor. If he was a cat oh, she’d be bringing his furry ass into the vet to figure out what the hell was wrong. Lucy giggled as he flipped them over, her head hitting the floor, bubbles cascading down on her as he got on his knees and pushed down his shorts.

To see him covered in bubbles, beautiful caramel skin taunt against chiseled muscles and a v-line worthy of hours of licking, she let out a soft whimper. Erik flashed her a grin, the kind that promised all sorts of naughty things as he gripped her knees and leaned over her. 

He moved down upon her and licked a line between the valley of her breasts and hummed his approval. “Bubble coated mate, not bad,” he said before he lightly bit the skin on the underside of her breast. Lucy’s back arched as bubbles got into her eyes and she quickly tried to wipe them away. In fact, she was certain that if she started moving, she could make some wicked bubble angels on the kitchen floor.

Another light nibble as he worked his way down her torso before settling his face between her legs. He looked at her and gave her a flirty wink before he dared to harshly lick her from entrance to clit. She let out a moan as her hands covered her breasts, giving them a light massage as he teased her. Lucy knew he loved seeing her touch herself when they made love, that he enjoyed a good show. Truthfully, she loved giving him one. For his one eye only.

His tongue flicked against her clit, moving side to side as if he was whipping her, she withered under him. He gripped her thighs and held her tight, forcing her to endure the lashing she was receiving. Not that she would complain, he knew how to treat her right. Lucy knew he was addicted to not just how she tasted when he did this but the sound of her soul when she came for him, it was his little quirk.

Well one of many quirks and to help him along she twisted and pulled at her nipples, giving him a show. Her eyes closed as her core began to tingle and her clit started pulsing. 

“F-fuck, Erik!” she called as stars exploded behind her eyelids and she came all over his mouth. 

Normally he could stop, let her come down from her high but instead he blew a stream of air against her before he went back to eating her. Lucy cried, begged, pleaded, she was so sensitive after the first orgasm and just wanted to feel him. 

“You owe me for bashing my head,” he said, and she knew that he was in  _ that _ play mode. Oh, dear goddess above her clit may not survive this treatment. 

His fingers entered her, scissoring and prepping her to handle him. Erik was always such a challenge and since it had been a while for them, she appreciated his extra care. Even if this was just another way for him to torture her a little.

Lucy tried to close her legs, but he kept enough pressure on one of them to keep it pinned to the ground and he quickly maneuvered the other one over his shoulder. “E-Erik, please…” she begged as her next orgasm hovered right in front of her.

He mumbled something, which she knew damn well was not a “yes dear.” Instead he curled his fingers, finding her g-spot and toyed with it as he sucked on her pearl. Lucy shattered and screamed loud enough that she could feel him flinch. Enhanced senses often caused headaches if she got too vocal. 

Then again, oh she could really give him a headache if he was going to keep playing with her. He crawled up her body and smashed his lips against hers. She could taste herself, his morning cig, and a bit of energy drink on his tongue. His erection pressing against her, begging for entrance.

“Think we need more bubble baths around here,” he said.

“You don’t like the girly scented stuff,” she shot back as she rolled her hips, wincing as her sensitive clit took in the friction.

Erik grinned, “with this stuff, you in cleaning foam is pretty fucking awesome. Serve that on some goddamn ice cream.”

Lucy laughed, “baby are we going to fuck or come up with new deserts?”

“Both,” he smirked as he slowly started pushing into her. 

Lucy struggled and tilted her hips up to help guide him in, as long as he took it slowly, she could handle his girth. Erik was whispering in her ear about how he was going to mix up some cyanide chocolate gelato and top it with a helping of her cum. 

“Eat that right up,” he said as his pelvis laid flushed against hers. 

Lucy relaxed her body and took in a deep breath, “I want pancakes covered in a mixture of maple syrup and your spunk.”

He laughed, “cinnamon pancakes?”

“Is there any other kind?”

“Nope, how about I make breakfast after I clean up your brains?” he asked.

“How domestic of you, but first you have to fuck them out of my head,” she teased.

He gave her a harsh kiss as he slid back, almost completely pulling out before moving back in. Lucy could tell his movement was not being helped by the slick flooring but fuck if she cared. Erik held her tight as he pistoned into her, but she could feel the cool tiles slide across her back before she hit damn carpet.

Lucy got up on her elbows, knowing she was going to have a rug burn, but it didn’t matter as he moved. She looked down, watching the way his muscles moved and his dick coated in her cream, disappeared and reappeared. His nose pressed against her forehead and she looked up in time for him to kiss her again, pushing her back into the carpet. 

They moved again, the drier rug grating against her back but for him to have better traction would be worth it. Erik got up on his knees as he hooked her legs over his forearms and lifted her up slightly. Lucy put her hands over her head and turned her head to the side, exposing her neck to him as she started to chant his name.

“Fuck, just f-fuck Sunshine...” he said, and she knew that he loved the fake little submissive pose. It screamed to his inner dragon whenever she did this.

He moved faster and harder, hitting her g-spot again and she called out his name. Erik held that position and kept slamming into the same delicious spot, over and over again. Her back burning, nerve endings on fire, and heat blasting out from her core, Lucy felt dizzy right before she came for the third time.

She was done, her body so sensitive, tears leaked out of her eyes as now she could even feel his individual pubic hairs brush against her. Erik let out a violent growl as he slammed into her and then gently pulsed as he came. Lucy looked up at him, her pale legs over his arms, muscles tight, and dots of bubbles all over his scars. It was his face that got to her, he looked as if he was in the middle of prayer and had just been blessed by Heaven.

“Damn it Sunshine,” he said as he pulled out of her and unceremoniously flopped on the floor next to her.

“Hmmm?” she asked as she curled to her side and pushed back the sweat soaked hair from his face. 

He looked at her, “I like this domestic life thing. I should do dishes more often.” Lucy started to laugh, and he joined her right before he kissed her again. 

It was a wild and crazy morning, but that was life with her mate and for Lucy, it was the perfect fucked up little life.

* * *

_**As always, please comment, kudos and bookmark!** _

_**Sorry for the delay but writing and 80 hour work weeks don't mix, but the work rage has calmed and maybe I can finally catch up. Love and shout out to GemNika for pulling out the pom poms and cheering me on as I try to find some damn time. Well time found and now we have CoLu smut LOL** _


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